Capricorn Horrorscope: 22 December– 20 January

You are conservative and afraid of taking risks and don’t really do much of anything.

There has never been a Capricorn of any importance.

Capricorns are randy old goats, every one of them. Even you.

Our Horrorscopes collection is based on a fax that went round in the 80s.

*Poetic licence used to mangle the original (unknown) author’s work.

For the avid bookworms out there, our bookmarks are made of robust aluminium, so won’t bend and buckle, with a top slot to hold single pages in place.